Three New Navy Ships


Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective… ENORMOUS!

When the Bridge pipes ‘ Man the Rail’ there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres.  Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.  


Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years  
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft  
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet


1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the  Empire   State
Building is tall  
3.  Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4.  4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200  pounds
5.  2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons
6.  4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet  


1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel  
2.Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3.  18,150 meals served daily
4.  Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5.  Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones  
6.  14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets


The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home   port  of   Vancouver , BC    

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton
‘for his foresight in military budget cuts’ and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President. 

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.  It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence. 

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the   United States at all costs. 

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find   America  offensive.  The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in   Canada  .


Details are as vague as his past, his economic policies and his credentials to lead.

But don’t you worry……….he has a plan!


3 responses

  1. You spent all of your time putting this together. Albeit funny, you are ignorant. Your Republican views are why the country has suffered in the past. FYI, Jobs are improving, wars are ending, stock market and GDP is growing. Can you do a favor and do an illustration of the last bush’s ship?

    1. I don’t know who you are but I really appreciate your insight that proves one more time the ignorance and intellectual challenge you liberals undergo. Not only do you people have a huge problem with reality but also with your own intellectuality.

      First – under Obama the unemployment rose to a number that has not excisted in the United States since the 30’s, and the latest number prove that the drop down to 8.25% was a fake number (by the way this information is from a U.S. Department of Labor) because it did not show seasonal workers, but the truth is the unemployment is almost at 21% – thank you, you Liberals – Job well done as long as those Union parasites get their Obama pay off (probably in exchange for election fraud)

      Second – under Obama the national debt increased by over 60% to an all-time high, and brought the country near bankruptcy

      Third – Thank you for the “FYI”, that clearly proves the hypocrisy of you Liberals and the “New from the liberal demanded Civilty” which means if YOU LIBERALS RUN OUT OF ARGUMENTS YOU INSULT THE OTHER SIDE BELOW THE BELT LINE AND EVEN THREATEN THEM but as sure as hell when this insult backfires YOU LIBERALS ACT LIKE THOSE CHIHUAHUA DOGS, wining and crying like babies and complaining about the conservatives.

      This was the first and the last response to your comment because like I usually say: IF I WANT TO DRIVE A LIBERAL CRAZY I USE COMMON SENSE; TRUTH; REALITY AND LOGIC – four things you liberals have a problem with because you are intellectually too challenged to understand intelligent conversations –

  2. Actually, Dick Cheney and George H.W. Bush were largely responsible for “gutting” the military prior to Clinton’s administration. It only made sense after 1991, when America’s greatest enemy dissolved.


    I know that this is supposed to be a funny piece, but it propagates some Republican myths that are patently false. Democrats are simply not responsible for the decrease in military spending in the 1990s.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: