If you are, like me, for a long time in the dating scene looking for the right one, you might have experienced it all: From a few success stories to plenty of rejection and disappointment. And if you are, like me, not the whiner and complainer, or worst I-know-it-all-kind of-guy but rather the problem solver you might have looked for advice and found plenty of useless online dating advice from self-declared “Dating Guru’s” or worst even some woman who tried to tell you that you have to use seduction and be the bad guy to get you somewhere.
Also there is plenty of advice out there for woman but only a few advice books for man.
After reading Dr. Christie Hartman’s book “Changing your Game” I can assure any man to stop looking for false advice – THIS BOOK IS ALL YOU NEED.
What makes this book better than others even perfect
One thing I like about this book is that it is fascinating written. Even if you have a long work day and cannot read it all at once – the chapters are written in a form that you find yourself eager to see how it continues.
And on top of it, this is the kind of book that you DON’T want to put in a corner once you read it – ON A CONTRARY – whenever you find yourself in a difficult situation and look for advice all you need is this book to see what solutions are the best suitable for the situation.
This book also covers a broad spectrum of what a man wants and needs to know about woman and dating (conventional and online). Let’s face it though my old grand pappy used to say man can never understand woman, or some guys think they know it all – this is nonsense; just as it is nonsense that all woman “tick” equally. Women just like man are individually only their genetic programing is similar and in order to become more successful one needs to understand the basics.
Another reason why this book is fascinating written for me – most psychologists use language that is far beyond understanding and in “Doctors language” makes you constantly feel like you are dumber than the rest – NOT THIS ONE.
Dr. Hartman uses some clear language, easy to understand, reject the overuse of psychological loanwords and uses examples out of life and sometimes out of her own experience.
She makes clear statements without the finger pointing. What she does is, in her own professional way she points out the facts without making a man feel like a moron.
This Book is perfect for every problem solver and those who want to learn how to solve their problems in dating and as a continuing reference book.
All this from a woman’s perspective without feeling the need to put man down and give you the impression that only bad guys get the girls. After reading her book now I know that even a good guy with old fashioned morals and manners can get the right woman (even hot ones) if he stops making the same mistake over and over but rather solve the problems.
And Dr. Hartman’s book is the perfect guideline for that.
Who should read this book:
Problem solvers of all kind: Now we man tend to think two dimensional and based on our profession (Lawyers like Lawyers, Engineers like Engineers) and tend to approach the problem solving in a way we work. “Changing your Game” however shows you different perspectives without making you feel like you suck. Just from the woman’s perspective based on real life examples and her own experience during her own dating time.
Complainers who are tired of complaining and finally want results, and learn how to solve the problem; and the problem is the man not the woman.
And last but not least Woman to understand the hassle man go through during dating and why they react how they react.
Like not all woman are the same not all man are the same and woman might want to know how to read a man and there is no better way to understand what man go through then getting it from THIS BOOK where Dr. Hartman gives man advice on how to deal with sometimes more and sometimes less difficult dating situations and more or less difficult woman situations.
At the same time every man should read Dr. Hartman’s book “It’s not Him, It’s YOU: the truth you may not want – but need – to Hear” to understand what woman go through when dating and get a better understanding.
What I don’t like about this book
It did not come out or brought to me 5 years ago I would be finally married by now and not have made so many mistakes.
This is a book I suggest for every guy out there who is in the dating field and sometimes gets really tired of it because of lack of success or he feels used.
This is a book every dater wants and needs to have and once he is finished Dating and caught in the blessing of a relationship and/or marriage this is a book he wants to pass on to his friends.
I DO STRONGLY SUGGEST THIS BOOK
Where do you find this book?
Also see and subscribe to her website and periodic Blog posts at: www.christiehartman.com
Once you get hooked to “Changing your game” (I did) you may also want to read
Dr. Christie Hartman, PhD in a nutshell:
Christie Hartman, a graduate of the University of Colorado is a behavioral scientist, dating expert and author of four dating Book (see above). She also appeared on national television, including “The today Show” and “Fox News Live” as well as on several local TV Shows.
© and Source – www.christiehartman.com
Written by Tom C. Lehner
© 2013 – All rights reserved – free to share and publish
I am a father and I remember it like it was yesterday when I first heard the heartbeat of my son. There has never been a more beautiful sound in the world. I remember the first sonogram when the doctor handed it over to me, I was overwhelmed with emotions like I have never ever experienced in my life before.
Anybody who has children and loves their children knows what I am talking about and will understand why this topic is so important to me.
Liberals are highly entertaining individuals. Their hypocrisy and double standards are sometimes really entertaining and always subject to a good joke. But when it comes to Abortion the fun ends right here and right now.
While on one hand using the modern times and 21st Century as an excuse, demanding that the “Death Penalty is cruel and unusual punishment”, claiming that every life is sacred and capital punishment is not only outdated but also inhumane, but on the other hand they use the same 21st century, as well as the “Woman’s rights to choose over her own body” and modern days as a rightful excuse to murder innocent babies.
Modern days, 21st Century, and women’s rights to choose are interesting arguments but easy to be rebutted arguments on Abortion and I will show you why.
I totally agree that a woman should be the master of her own being, welfare, and body. No man (male) should have the right to decide or rule over a woman’s body. And we have come a long way since the 18th and 19th century where “Martial Obligations” of a woman were still law.
It is up to the woman herself to choose if she wants to make a career rather than being a mother and wife, or if she wants both, if she wants to be intimate with a man or not, if she wants to get married or not, and so on.
As my mother always taught me: the rights of an individual end at the tip of the nose because that is where the rights of the opposite start.
And when it comes to abortion, the rights of a woman end at the obligation and responsibility for a defenseless innocent child that has not asked to be in the womb of that woman.
As a matter of fact, if women claim their individual rights, of which they are entitled to and I want to point out I am not questioning them at all, rights also always include responsibility.
And the responsibility starts before they get pregnant.
“We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” (~~ Ronald Reagan, 1972 ~~)
Of course this quote by the greatest of all Presidents was meant for laws, but can easily be used also for this particular topic, and the words “law’s broken” be replaced with “physical actions taken”.
Since Row vs. Wade in 1973 over 46 Million Abortions have been conducted. That is more than 10% of the American population extinguished. This is the largest genocide since the mass murder of Jews by the Nazi’s during World War 2 (2).
Just to mention that “Roe”, who’s real name is Norma L. McCorvey, from Dallas, Texas, is now a Pro-Life activist.
An average of 1.8 Million Abortions take place every year, 1.21 Million Abortions in 2008, Twenty-Two percent of all pregnancies (excluding Miscarriages) end in Abortion (3). Those numbers could be reduced and almost cut down to zero if we as a society start taking responsibility for our actions.
1) Unwanted Pregnancy due to Rape and Incest.
Only 1% of all abortions are based on rape or incest. That makes in total numbers approximately 12,000 abortions per year due to this horribly violent and morally reprehensible crime.
Now, I am not so arrogant to say I, as a man, put myself in the shoes of a victim of such violence, nor do I pretend to know how such a woman feels. That would be arrogant and disrespectful.
But I do understand statistics and scientific research. And this shows clearly that the majority of violated woman do not abort because of the pregnancy or because they don’t want that child. Research proves that the majority of those victims abort to avoid continuing psychological terror from their tormentor.
Fact of the matter is that our liberal society allows a predator, like a rapist have almost more rights than the victim. Not only does the woman go through the trial because our constitution gives a rapist the right to face its accuser, she also can expect that liberals will have no problem letting a rapist back on the streets on probation stubbornly believing in re-socialization, knowing full well that over 90% of all sex offenders are repeat offenders.
And on top of that a rapist, once aware that he has fathered a child, can either by himself or through his parents call for visitation rights of that child, which victimizes the woman over and over when she has to see this perpetrator (6).
So here are some of the solutions to avoid that:
a) A rape victim does turn out to be pregnant and does not want to keep the child
Every Hospital should be required by law to council a rape victim on the possibility of pregnancy and offer her the so called Pill-After also commonly known as the Morning after Pill of ECP (Emergency Contraction Pill). Here is the religious character and proper counseling that is extremely important.
Though I am a pro-lifer, the ECP (Emergency Contraction Pill) is NOT ABORTION, but a pregnancy prevention initiating a contraction flow (7). This pill has to be taken within the first 72 hours of the act, the sooner the better.
As of here any woman can make her own choice whether she wants to take the risk of being pregnant or if she wants to take the safer step and prevent a possible pregnancy.
Now hospitals, especially Catholic Hospitals, sometimes refuse this pill based on their “Freedom of religion Act” and the offering possibility.
The constitutional right of Religion is an individual right. The religious refusal can only occur when the hospital remains an in-house facility for their members only.
The moment a hospital takes public funding and opens its door for economical profit to the public, the treatment should be based on worldly lawful measurements and not on the religious character of the owner.
b) More protection and rights for the victims and less for the perpetrator
Now, during a trial the constitutional rights of an accused cannot be taken away. In our country we still have the “Innocent until proven guilty” Rights. However, once a rapist is convicted, the victim (woman) can be protected by law in many ways.
- We don’t have a problem taking away fathers rights solely based on the unproven accusations of a woman – so why do we have such a problem to take away any fathers rights of a convicted rapist?
- Harsher punishment: I would go for a Nationwide minimum of 30 years by a first offender and life without the possibility of parole of a second offender (by child molesters or child rapists even the death penalty as a two strike rule)
- Providing legal assistance as well as psychological assistance to the victim and help her to start eventually, if requested, a new life with a new identity.
- A court ruling taking away fathers rights as well as grandmothers /fathers rights of the family of the rapist and making it a law that he is never allowed to approach or contact his victim and offspring again. Any violation would be considered a repeat offense and result in Life without possibility of parole, period.
I think that way women would feel protected and not feel violated over and over again and abortion could be almost extinguished in those instances.
2) Abortion based on potential health problems
6% of all abortions are based on Health problems regarding either the mother or the child. Now this is not rocket science here.
As far as the mother (adult) is concerned, well welcome to the 21st century and the personal physical responsibility that goes hand in hand with the third group the 93% of abortions for social reasons. We pride our superiority over the animals based on the ability of logical thinking and planning ahead, but when it comes to something as simple as reproduction humans intend to act like stone-age humans.
If a couple or a woman decides that she would love to have a baby, it is not rocket science to get a physical check up before pregnancy. And until that time there are at least two dozen forms of pregnancy prevention.
All it takes is to use a little bit of the muscle in the scull most people call a brain.
And when it comes to the unborn; liberals had the audacity to attack Sarah Palin for deciding to give birth to a child who had Down syndrome.
Who are we to decide what life is livable and what life is not…? The last society I remember that made this decision was the Nazi’s and the Chinese.
Every Child is a gift from God and deserves the maximum amount of love. And just because it has a mental or physical challenge does not make its life worthless.
So murdering the baby just because it is not convenient or perfect enough is sure disgusting and I am ashamed to be in the same society as those who always look for the easy way out instead of growing up and being responsible. Which brings me to the largest group of Abortionists……
1) 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. Unwanted or inconvenient).
This includes teenagers (18%), women who already have one or more children, career women who think a child is in the way of her career, women with a partnership that is not going well or they don’t have a partner/husband at all, women who have not used the Pill correctly, not at all, or had unexpected sex, or had concerns about contraceptive methods (they have concerns about the pill but not about a surgery that kills a baby – nice double standard).
So we are not talking about accidents here. We are talking about brainless “anything-goes-lets have fun-as long as we don’t have rules-let the others pay for our animalistic lifestyle”.
None of those reasons are a reason for abortion to me. As a matter of fact it sickens me to see how easy society dodges their way out of responsibility.
Fact of the matter is that we ALL have to take responsibility for our actions. But also the fact is that thanks to liberal thinking we don’t do that. Why take responsibility if we can have the easy way out.
Let’s start with the teenagers.
I don’t know if President George W. Bush “just say no abstinence policy” was a success or not. But the current Federal indoctrination of teaching youth and children’s Sexual practices and how to get the easiest abortion rather than pregnancy prevention and taking responsibility cannot be the answer (8).
Youth and children always follow an example and as long as liberal biased media promotes low-life lifestyle from the Hollywood stars and Pop stars as role models and parents don’t remember their duties as “parents,” talking to their children and teaching them right from wrong things won’t change.
It is time to rethink the entire procedure and where our society wants to go. And it is time to tell the Media with one voice to stop promoting drug infested, permanent drunk lowlife’s as role models. No, Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan are not victims or misguided role models – they are simply disgusting.
Instead of letting the government do the educating parents need to set the example of traditional family values and teach their children that actions have consequences. I think talking to the youth and being a positive role model could reduce the current teenage pregnancy rate by more than half.
And as far as the remaining 75 % of abortion goes (the Adults):
I’ve said it before, all our actions have consequences, and we don’t live in the medieval times. There are at least two dozens types of pregnancy preventions available – Condoms, the Pill, IUD’, vasectomies, and these are just a few.
If a woman decides either she already has children and does not want anymore, a child would interfere with her career, she has a partner or husband and does not want a child right now, or if that woman decides she wants to be single and have one night stands, all of that does not matter. There are many opportunities to prevent a pregnancy in the first place and that leaves no justification for a later abortion.
Let’s be honest, if a woman is smart enough to prevail in the corporate world she can be expected to take proper caution not to become pregnant in the first place.
That is called one’s own responsibility. And when it comes to a man, she can not blame him only for her failure. If a woman has an unwanted pregnancy, of course, it is also the man’s fault because he could have used protection too –it takes two to enjoy the pleasure and both can say no.
Sure, some women now say: What about the men’s responsibilities?
And I agree with you. We guys have our share of responsibilities as well, and the irresponsible chauvinism of some representatives of the male population is disgusting. However, it takes two for the act and if the guy is not prepared the women can as well say NO.
Today we are talking about Abortion and not sexism, and the men’s responsibilities are subject to a whole different and new column (soon to be followed).
By using a little common sense combined with self-control and self-responsibility, behaving a little more like parents and less like friends, and taking care of victims of crimes rather than the perpetrators well, this reduces most of the legitimate arguments of pro-choice activists.
Sure, abortion will never be extinguished, but it can be reduced to a few thousand per year. Still too many but a few thousand sounds better than 1.21 Million, it’s a start and that little guy here has a chance and might become the President, a Nobel Prize winner or simply just a good person.
- Washington Times
- Allen Gutmacher Institute 2005
- Allen Gutmacher Institute 2005
- Bio Ethical reform
- Allen Gutmacher Institute
- Christian Answers.net
- Princeton University
- Atlas Shrug